Are you an “ist?”  Do you know of any?

Perhaps your next door neighbour is an “ist” or, maybe, your Parish Priest is one.

According to one famous blogger, the Dame Edna of the blogging world, “ists” are everywhere and they should be thrown onto a bonfire or racked for a day or two to teach ’em a lesson (no, the Dame did not actually use those words but she is most displeased with “ists” and I have no doubt that she would like to impose some form of modern day punishment upon them).

A good beating about the head with a rolled up copy of the Tablet or a home baked giant cupcake rammed down the throat is more her preferred style of punishment, but back to the “ists”.

They are, of course those Catholics who might harbour pious thoughts regarding Fatima and the (whisper it softly) Third Secret.

Some like to speculate that there’s more to the Third Secret than meets the eye.

A notorious ‘Fatimist’

If you believe that then you’re a “Fatimist” and should purge yourself by reading one of the Dame’s religious tracts whilst gulping down a gallon of chilli castor oil.
Or, if you seriously wish to punish yourself, just read the tract.

Next on the list of “ists” is the “Latinist”.

Sit iucundus tibi dies – infantem!

This has a slightly unwholesome ring to it and conjures up visions of some sinister swivel eyed loon who mutters Latin phrases to himself whereas, as we all know, those who favour Latin as per the EF Mass, are all sensible, attractive types with no vices whatsoever.

Finally, we come to the worst “ist” of the lot. The Lefebvrist or Traditionalist (the Dame and her chums often seem to lump the two together, and why not? They are both “ists”).

Traditionalists are really not Catholic at all; they form a sub human level of society somewhere between devil worshippers and heretics (if she only knew).

Dame Edna hates anything with an “ist” attached to it

The illustrious Dame speaks of Traditionalists as if she is describing something nasty found on the sole of her shoe after a walk in the park.

Which leaves me wondering….what does she believe in?

Where does she stand with regard to the Faith?

Yes, yes, I know the answer to that one, it’s a well used old saw to say “But I’m just a Catholic” as if that, in today’s world, answers everything.

Well, you can dance naked round a pentagram and call yourself a Catholic or you can attend Masses where the celebrant wears sweater and jeans and call yourself one.

We are no longer one, holy, Catholic Church, we are a spectrum of disparate colours and I would much rather be described as an “ist” than as a charismatic.

She has not mentioned ‘Modernists’, however.

I wonder why?


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